I'm in America! Not home yet, but getting closer...
The last plane ride was wayyy too long, but I met a great couple from Kenya who were coming to the States for the first time. I got to share about what I did in Tanzania for the last 7 months and they told me about themselves too! I think it was probably my last opportunity to speak Swahili as well, so it was very special and we had a lot of fun. As we stepped off the plane, the three of us were shocked by the wave of freezing cold air. I told them, "Pole, baridi sana hapa! Karibu America" (not grammatically correct, but literally translated as "sorry, very cold here! Welcome to America!") After saying goodbye to them, making my way through customs, long lines, and security again, I found the bathroom so I could brush my teeth and freshen up a little bit. First of all, I was pleasantly surprised at the lovely smell of the huge, clean bathroom. Secondly, I was thinking how nice it was to have toilets in a public bathroom instead of dirty holes in the ground. (I generally don't think squat pots are all that bad anymore, but the public ones are usually gross!) Anyways, the toilet flushed automatically which totally caught me off guard and scared me half to death. After that, I was prepared for the automatic sink, but not the nice warm water that came out! Warm water is very exciting. I came to my gate where I am sitting now and there just so happened to be a Wendy's right here, so I got myself a chocolate frosty...which I have been craving for a loooong time! It was delicious! Now I'm waiting for my plane to Seattle where my family will be waiting for me. It's been quite the journey and I'm sooo ready to see them!
Dear friends, family, and blog followers, thanks for all your support and prayers! They've made a difference to me and my time in Tanzania has been the best experience of my life. God is good!
Even though I'm almost home, I want to let you know that you're welcome to stay tuned to my blog! I still have many stories to write about and pictures to post that I never got around to doing before. So let's continue to share memories together! God Bless!
They just announced the first boarding call...so ready or not, here I come!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
Time Flies
Babies grow so fast and changes occur constantly at a place like this. It has been tough at times, testing, tiring, delightful, messy, stinky, slimy, cute, happy, and sad. The 52 orphans under the age of three sleeping downstairs right now have captured my heart in every way possible. What seemed like an overwhelming group of screaming toddlers when I arrived 7 months ago has turned into the most special group of children I have ever known. God created each individual so incredibly different! I count it a privilege to have been able to help shape the beginnings of their characters and share as much love as God poured through me.
Now, I have 3.5 days left. How is it already over??! I can't wrap my mind around it! I've been looking forward to going home and in the back of my mind, counting down the days since the beginning of August...but now I feel like I need to put on the brakes! It is hard to start packing up all of my belongings and all of my experiences to take home with me after 7 months. At the beginning of my time here, I talked about the four phases that most missionaries go through and I promised that I would give you an update on whether they were accurate or not. Well...they certainly are! And now I'm in the last phase where I love the culture, I love my children, I love the nannies, I love the food, and I love the language. I'm comfortable here and it definitely has become a second home to me. I'm struggling to imagine life in North America again and wondering how God will fit me back in there and use me at home. I'm praying that I will be able to share my experiences some how in all that I do and that they may have an impact in others' lives.
While I have been here, 24 new babies have arrived and joined our Cradle of Love family. Ten of these children came as a result of their mother's death and poverty of their father or extended families. Nine of the new babies were brought because they were found abandoned, either in a field, in town, hidden in the bushes, or left at the hospital. The other few had unique cases.
I experienced 14 children leave the baby home. Five moved onto different orphanages, five were adopted, and four returned to extended family. It is very hard to say goodbye and watch them move on. I still think of them and pray for them as I wonder how they're doing, growing up in a new environment.
I sadly experienced little Joel's death, and I will always remember him and what I learned from his short life.
I had the joy of helping and observing 10 babies proudly take their first steps, which was a priceless experience.
I saw tiny pre-mature babies grow into big, smiley, drooley 7-month-olds. I saw severly malnourished children grow and put on weight. I saw "first smiles" in the nursery. I experienced long nights at the hospital with a near-death 2 month old and watched him pull through.
These are just a few of the "baby" experiences God has blessed me with at Cradle. Tanzania as a country, though, has given me countless more! Markets, spending time with local friends, learning the language, learning to serve...to share anything I have, teaching English at Kilimani Primary School, climbing a mountain...
The list goes on.
In everything, though, I've experienced God. Whether I was looking for Him or not, He has revealed Himself to me in ways I've never see Him before. I didn't always realize it right away, but I see it now. I am able to look back on all my experiences, whether good or bad and see that He was in the midst of it, blessing and teaching. From now on, I believe I will know how to better open my eyes to see His presence in every situation life may bring. I know He lead me here for such a time as this and I will trust Him to lead me into the future. Right now, I basically fall apart when I think about life without these babies. I've woken up with them and tucked them in every day and night for so long. It's difficult to prepare to say goodbye and to change this experience from a "now" to a memory, but at the same time, I feel satisfied. I have served, and have learned what God had in store for me to learn, and I have grown. He will continue to bless and take care of his precious children because He has a plan for their lives. Whether they have a mother or father or not, my prayer is that they will grow secure in their Heavenly Father's love.
Now, I have 3.5 days left. How is it already over??! I can't wrap my mind around it! I've been looking forward to going home and in the back of my mind, counting down the days since the beginning of August...but now I feel like I need to put on the brakes! It is hard to start packing up all of my belongings and all of my experiences to take home with me after 7 months. At the beginning of my time here, I talked about the four phases that most missionaries go through and I promised that I would give you an update on whether they were accurate or not. Well...they certainly are! And now I'm in the last phase where I love the culture, I love my children, I love the nannies, I love the food, and I love the language. I'm comfortable here and it definitely has become a second home to me. I'm struggling to imagine life in North America again and wondering how God will fit me back in there and use me at home. I'm praying that I will be able to share my experiences some how in all that I do and that they may have an impact in others' lives.
While I have been here, 24 new babies have arrived and joined our Cradle of Love family. Ten of these children came as a result of their mother's death and poverty of their father or extended families. Nine of the new babies were brought because they were found abandoned, either in a field, in town, hidden in the bushes, or left at the hospital. The other few had unique cases.
I experienced 14 children leave the baby home. Five moved onto different orphanages, five were adopted, and four returned to extended family. It is very hard to say goodbye and watch them move on. I still think of them and pray for them as I wonder how they're doing, growing up in a new environment.
I sadly experienced little Joel's death, and I will always remember him and what I learned from his short life.
I had the joy of helping and observing 10 babies proudly take their first steps, which was a priceless experience.
I saw tiny pre-mature babies grow into big, smiley, drooley 7-month-olds. I saw severly malnourished children grow and put on weight. I saw "first smiles" in the nursery. I experienced long nights at the hospital with a near-death 2 month old and watched him pull through.
These are just a few of the "baby" experiences God has blessed me with at Cradle. Tanzania as a country, though, has given me countless more! Markets, spending time with local friends, learning the language, learning to serve...to share anything I have, teaching English at Kilimani Primary School, climbing a mountain...
The list goes on.
In everything, though, I've experienced God. Whether I was looking for Him or not, He has revealed Himself to me in ways I've never see Him before. I didn't always realize it right away, but I see it now. I am able to look back on all my experiences, whether good or bad and see that He was in the midst of it, blessing and teaching. From now on, I believe I will know how to better open my eyes to see His presence in every situation life may bring. I know He lead me here for such a time as this and I will trust Him to lead me into the future. Right now, I basically fall apart when I think about life without these babies. I've woken up with them and tucked them in every day and night for so long. It's difficult to prepare to say goodbye and to change this experience from a "now" to a memory, but at the same time, I feel satisfied. I have served, and have learned what God had in store for me to learn, and I have grown. He will continue to bless and take care of his precious children because He has a plan for their lives. Whether they have a mother or father or not, my prayer is that they will grow secure in their Heavenly Father's love.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Rahim, Rahman & Careen
Twins, Rahim and Rahman left Cradle of Love in December. Their father came to pick them up and take them back to his village quite unexpectedly. Though we were happy to see them go to their family, it was hard let them go because they were both so special. Rahim was an incredibly bright boy and he was a funny character. One time when he had just started to potty train, one of the nannies, Francisca, came into the play room and told him it was time to go sit on the potty. So he stood up, dropped his pants, looked around at all of us, waved goodbye, and shuffled out of the play room with his pants around his ankles and a proud look on his face...headed to the potty. He was just a super funny kid! His twin, Rahman, was way behind him in development. He learned to walk while I was here and also started to try talking. He would always walk around with his hands in the air as if to say "I'm innocent!" Rahman's smile was big and beautiful and it was enough to capture anyone's heart. I hope they have adjusted well to their family life and are growing strong. They are missed here.
Careen was like the little police here. She was always running around making sure no babies were fighting and if they were, ensuring that the kids in the wrong were saying sorry to the innocent ones and so forth. Her Swahili was much better than her English and she would spout off her lectures and chastising to the toddlers in Swahili if they were being naughty. She was a very good helper with the little ones and it was always so sweet to watch her entertain the babies lying on the mat. During my first couple of months here, Careen would throw the biggest temper tantrums! They were awful. But, as the months went by and the older children left, it was amazing to watch her mature and take their role as a helper and teacher. I ended up really admiring Careen a lot.
Both her and Rahim were the two children who would give me new hairstyles after supper every night. I miss getting my hair done by these two. Careen would always check to see if she was pulling my hair too hard and tell me not to cry and let me know I was looking beautiful in Swahili as she yanked on my hair and twisted it around. Such a sweetie!
Careen is now living in Dar es Salaam with her adopted family. I hope she, also, has adjusted and will grow and flourish with them.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Saying Goodnight
The other night, Jackline broke my heart. Nanny, Stella, announced that it was "kulala" time and everyone scurried into the bedroom to either stand by their bed patiently or run around in between the cribs to make me chase them. After tucking in Kurwa, Dotto, and Witness, Jackline asked me for a kiss. I told her to climb into bed and I would kiss her goodnight. She did what I asked, and then gave me a juicy watermelon kiss..(they had had watermelon for snacky time and she had just finished). I then proceeded to untie her mosquito net and drape it around her crib. As I continued to tuck more babies in and kiss them all goodnight, I glanced over at Jackie because she was still standing up looking at me. I asked her to lie down because it was time to sleep, but she didn't move. When I was finished tucking Amani in, I came back over to Jackie. She was standing against the side of her crib, blue mosquito net plastered to her face as she leaned into it. Her eyes were red as tears silently streamed down her cheeks. She had been watching me for the last few minutes. I asked her what the matter was, but she didn't have anything to say. She just wanted another kiss. With that, she silently laid down on her tummy and waited for sleep to come.
Jackie is almost three years old. She's a smart girl. She knows her ABC's and 1,2,3's, she has a pretty good grasp of both English and Kiswahili, and she's a big helper with the younger babies (or can be when she wants to). She's a tough girl and can be very defensive as many kids learn to be, growing up with so many "siblings". Tonight, I saw a sadness in her eyes, though, that I had never seen before. It was a mature sadness, like she knew or realized something. Is she realizing she doesn't have someone just to herself to love her? When will she realize that she is an orphan? Does she already know? She, along with 48 others in this baby home, crave love and attention 24/7. All her little life, she's had to fight for it. She knows how to get attention when she wants it. I wish so badly that I could sneak into some of their little minds sometimes and understand what they feel and listen to their thoughts. They may only be 1, 2, and 3 years old, but there are a lot of things being processed in those young minds.
With more than 30 children wanting you to lift them into their cribs, tuck them in, and drape their mosquito nets around them every night, it's sometimes easy to fall into a pattern and complete the process as somewhat of a chore. Over the last couple of weeks, though, saying goodnight has become something different for me. It's special. When snack time is over, Kurwa comes straight to my lap and holds my hand until it's time for bed. Then she pulls me into the bedroom and over to her bed so we can hug and chat for a minute before anyone else gets my full attention. That means the world to her! All of them call out for their bedtime kisses and love that one moment when my attention is all theirs. Saying goodnight is sad, since there are no bedtime stories, long cuddles, and puppet shows like I received when I was their age, but it's still a very important time to these children. When I tuck them in, let them know I love them in any way I can, and they say they love me too my heart swells up and it gives me a sense of peace like I've completed my task for the day.
Jackie is almost three years old. She's a smart girl. She knows her ABC's and 1,2,3's, she has a pretty good grasp of both English and Kiswahili, and she's a big helper with the younger babies (or can be when she wants to). She's a tough girl and can be very defensive as many kids learn to be, growing up with so many "siblings". Tonight, I saw a sadness in her eyes, though, that I had never seen before. It was a mature sadness, like she knew or realized something. Is she realizing she doesn't have someone just to herself to love her? When will she realize that she is an orphan? Does she already know? She, along with 48 others in this baby home, crave love and attention 24/7. All her little life, she's had to fight for it. She knows how to get attention when she wants it. I wish so badly that I could sneak into some of their little minds sometimes and understand what they feel and listen to their thoughts. They may only be 1, 2, and 3 years old, but there are a lot of things being processed in those young minds.
With more than 30 children wanting you to lift them into their cribs, tuck them in, and drape their mosquito nets around them every night, it's sometimes easy to fall into a pattern and complete the process as somewhat of a chore. Over the last couple of weeks, though, saying goodnight has become something different for me. It's special. When snack time is over, Kurwa comes straight to my lap and holds my hand until it's time for bed. Then she pulls me into the bedroom and over to her bed so we can hug and chat for a minute before anyone else gets my full attention. That means the world to her! All of them call out for their bedtime kisses and love that one moment when my attention is all theirs. Saying goodnight is sad, since there are no bedtime stories, long cuddles, and puppet shows like I received when I was their age, but it's still a very important time to these children. When I tuck them in, let them know I love them in any way I can, and they say they love me too my heart swells up and it gives me a sense of peace like I've completed my task for the day.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Safari with Auntie Karen
Thursday, February 16, 2012
First Steps
One-and-a-half year old Catherine is very small. She has fetal alcohol syndrome and is behind in development. Catherine has been watching other children learn to walk all around her, but never been strong enough to do it herself. During the last few days, she's been standing herself up and balancing on her feet but never taking a step.
Today, she took her first steps!!! It was so special! Catherine was so proud of herself and smiling so big. When she wasn't smiling, she would suck in her cheeks as she concentrated. So cute.
This made my heart very happy and proud because I've been hoping she would start walking before I have to leave. Yay for Catherine!
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